When Traveling with a Friend Becomes a Problem

Fighting wolves

Most of my friends do not travel often but the handful that do always share stories about the nightmares they experienced with their travel partners.

Just the other day a friend was telling me how the two people she was traveling through Asia expected to be able to use their credit cards everywhere and refused to get any cash. That backfired when they were unable to buy anything to eat for a couple of days unless it was in a hotel or a tourist trap.

Another friend told me about how they are no longer friends with the people they traveled through Europe for a few weeks with. By the end of the trip they were at each other’s throats for various reasons, but mostly because they just spent too much time together and didn’t get enough space.

A recent trip of mine didn’t go a smoothly as planned with my travel partner and I realized we had quite different tastes and plans for our trip. We were able to solve these issues fairly easily though and I will give you some tips on how we did it.

Plan ahead of time

You don’t need to set dates or times, but discuss what you would like to see, activities you would like to do, and what you would like to eat. Don’t forget to take budget into consideration. Make sure that you understand each other’s desires and what they are financially capable of doing.

Notice when an issue arises

Do not ignore problems. When you see that something is beginning to become an issue, address it immediately. Talk about it. Explain your feelings, listen to their concerns and wishes, and try to find a compromise. Never force somebody into doing or going somewhere they don’t want to. They will inevitably have a terrible time because they had a poor attitude about it to begin with.

Split up

Sometimes there is no easy resolve and the best thing to do is simply go your own way. Maybe you just need to explore the area on your own or hang out with some people from your hostel. There is nothing wrong with this. Just be an adult and explain that it has become obvious you guys need some time apart.

This doesn’t mean you have to sever all ties from this person foe your entire trip. Maybe a day or two apart is all you need.

This is what we did in my situation that I mentioned earlier. I don’t think either of us minded. We were both mature enough to realize the issue and we enjoyed some activities together, and also had fun meeting other people to spend time with.

If you haven’t realized by now, the key is communication, understanding, and respect. Your travel partner has spent just as much money and sacrificed just as much time to be there. You both deserve to have fun and with these tips hopefully you can.

[tip]Have any tips or horror stories? Please share in the comments below![/tip]

How to Get Into the Independent Travel Mindset

Have you traveled independently/solo before?

If not, it probably sounds a little scary doesn’t it?

It doesn’t have to be.  In fact, now that I have been traveling independently for the better part of my adult life, I’ve really come to love it.  When I’m not traveling, I’m thinking about traveling.  All but one of my backpacking trips have been completely solo.

So what does it take to get into the mindset?

All it took for me was a little push.  My first trip to Europe was to be with one of my good friends.  Two days before, he canceled for reasons I still don’t know.  There I was, about to leave for Europe.  No accommodations booked, no real schedule or plan.  Top it all off, there was a bomb found underneath one of the French railways and terrorist threats of more that had not been found.

Yeah, I was a little nervous.  I stayed up all night before my early morning flight stressing over whether or not to go.

Obviously, I’m glad I went.  I had the time of my life, met some great people, and visited places I didn’t even plan on going to (or had even heard about).

You will not be alone

Costa Rica Dinner Party
17 of us from the hostel in La Fortuna, Costa Rica enjoying dinner together

Stay at almost any hostel and you are almost guaranteed to meet other travelers.  You may not the best at meeting and talking to random strangers, but when you travel all that will change.  Regardless of what language you speak or where you are from, you share at least one common thing with everybody else there.  You are travelers in a strange place and you’d probably enjoy some company.

I truly can’t think of a time when I had nobody to hang out with, share a meal, or just talk to in a hostel.  They are unbelievably social places and by staying in one, you will meet others and before you know it, be going out sightseeing, grabbing a bite to eat, or partying it up at a club or bar (ask the person in charge of the hostel for that information!).

Your guidebook is your friend

Unless you venturing off into uncharted territory, somebody has probably been there already and written an entire book about it.  Pack your guidebook and read as much of it as you can.  Need a hostel recommendation?  What about a good place to eat? How about information on safety and tips to avoid trouble.

Your guidebook has all of that already!  Read it and follow it–but don’t be afraid to stray a little.

Be willing to explore

Some of the best days you will have are when you simply venture out on your own (or with others).  Many cities are great to simply walk around all day and explore.  See the sights, but walk down those streets that look interesting.  Visit shops, eat some food from street vendors, look at the architecture, talk to people! There are many things you can do without an itinerary.

Please feel free to share your experiences of traveling alone (or with a small group) and the encounters you’ve had! Tips are always welcome as well.